This year has been a doozie! I've lost a lot, gone through some very difficult moments, and met sides of myself I didn't know existed. One of hardest things for me to process this year has been my breakup. Whose fault was it? What did I do? Why did he do that? Is there something wrong with me? All of these questions were on a loop in my mind all day long for months. I got angry and depressed. I even had elaborate revenge plots all planned out in my head. After time passed I realized that what happened wasn't about me. He wasn't right for me and so it didn't work. Trying to assign blame is a fulltime gig, so when I let all of that go I was able to see the positive things that I learned from that situation.
Having a relationship with someone so wrong for me, really showed me what I wanted from a relationship. It made me more sure of myself and helped me to realize my worth. Now I want only the best for myself. I'm ready for something real and that's an amazing feeling. I don't wanna be someone's fuck buddy, or just some girl they hang out with when they have time to kill or need an ego boost. Oh, and no more emotionally unavailable guys. It's bullshit. I deserve a guy who wants me as much as I want him. Time for an adult relationship people. Love is a heavy term but just like any other four letter word, as an adult I think I'm ready to use it.
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