Open Up and Say HI!

Being open emotionally is probably one of the hardest things in the world to do ( for me at least). We all have an experience that we think about when we are weighing out whether or not we should open ourselves up and go for it ( and by going for it I mean telling the truth or taking a chance). This experience is usually the time that we have been hurt the most, or felt the most vulnerable and it's hard to get over. Giving men a chance in my life has been almost impossible and due to the wonderful law of attraction, the guys I did give a chance were the one's who would validate my fears. These special gentlemen would treat me like crap and then evaporate, never to be seen again. Slowly over the years, I have started to feel a shift happening inside of me.


I've started to gain strength from the bullshit from the past. Instead of thinking that I would forever be doomed to relive the tragedies of my past, I started to think how lucky I was that I hadn't invested more time in a shitty situation. True love has to be right around the corner, right? I stopped caring if it sounded stupid that I thought love could find me anywhere. I'd rather have my irrational thoughts be positive. What's the worst that could happen? I want to be honest and vulnerable now. Everything else is just covering up who you really are and that's no fun. It's also exhausting trying to conceal the parts of you that you think someone might not like or that would make you look weak. There is a strength in vulnerability because you're giving yourself the green light to be you. I want people to see the real me. She's pretty fucking awesome, I gotta tell ya.

Good Love Is On The Way

This year has been a doozie! I've lost a lot, gone through some very difficult moments, and met sides of myself I didn't know existed. One of hardest things for me to process this year has been my breakup. Whose fault was it? What did I do? Why did he do that? Is there something wrong with me? All of these questions were on a loop in my mind all day long for months. I got angry and depressed. I even had elaborate revenge plots all planned out in my head. After time passed I realized that what happened wasn't about me. He wasn't right for me and so it didn't work. Trying to assign blame is a fulltime gig, so when I let all of that go I was able to see the positive things that I learned from that situation.


Having a relationship with someone so wrong for me, really showed me what I wanted from a relationship. It made me more sure of myself and helped me to realize my worth. Now I want only the best for myself. I'm ready for something real and that's an amazing feeling. I don't wanna be someone's fuck buddy, or just some girl they hang out with when they have time to kill or need an ego boost. Oh, and no more emotionally unavailable guys. It's bullshit. I deserve a guy who wants me as much as I want him. Time for an adult relationship people. Love is a heavy term but just like any other four letter word, as an adult I think I'm ready to use it.